Bottled Blondes
by Floopygirl
Summary: People on other planets always seem to like Sam's hair and eyes lots. Very fluffy.


Title: Bottled Blondes

Pairings: none

Disclaimer: not mine

A/N: I was speculating about Sam's roots on my flist, and various people prodded me into writing this. Special thanks go to ALC Punk! who betaed for me (smooches). Um, this isn't meant to be taken seriously.

* * *

Sam had spent the whole evening surrounded by men. While she was used to receiving attention as the only female member in her team, she felt that the current situation was a little excessive and was getting tired of trying to tactfully indicate her lack of interest. She also felt like all the women she spoke to were dying to ask her something, but so far were being too polite. Overall, it was somewhat frustrating. 

Finally she managed to break away from the main group of people with one of the town's doctors, with whom she'd been discussing Earth's medical technology. As the young woman beside her opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again, Sam decided that she'd had enough. She hoped she wasn't going to break some cultural taboo, but this was silly and unnecessary.

She smiled, trying to put the woman at her ease. "Serena, is there something you wanted to ask me? I've noticed that people seem a little hesitant around me, and there's really no need."

Serena hesitated. "No, it's just that... your hair, it's so beautiful."

Sam tried not to sigh or roll her eyes. The woman's reaction was all too common, and she'd been receiving compliments on her hair and her eyes all evening. When the Goa'uld had populated other planets with humans from Earth, they'd often shown a preference for people with dark hair and olive skin: Obra, the planet they were visiting at present, was no different.

"Thank you, I'm flattered."

The woman didn't stop there. "You must have a very powerful husband."

That was new. "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand."

Serena gestured to Sam's head. "Your hair - you are a great beauty, and must have been able to choose any man you desired."

Sam was beginning to wish she'd never asked. "Actually, I'm not married. I was engaged once," the woman looked at her blankly, "But I decided that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with that man and I broke it off."

Serena looked deeply uncomfortable. "You couldn't find another man? With hair such as yours..."

Sam laughed, and then hoped she wasn't being too tactless. "My hair colour is solely down to peroxide." As Serena stared in total lack of comprehension, she tried to restrain her amusement. "Can't you see the darker hair close to my scalp? That's my natural hair colour - it's grown out since I last coloured it. Don't you have any plants or herbs that you use here for the same thing?"

"There are leaves which we dry and crush up into a powder. When you mix it with water it forms a paste that you put on your hair, and it gives it a reddish colour."

Sam nodded. "We have something similar called henna, but on Earth you can dye your hair other colours as well. Since my hair's naturally a boring light brown, I go blonde instead."

Serena stared in fascination. "Could you show me how to make this 'dye' you speak of?"

Sam paused. "I could show you how to make bleach, but you don't want to use it on its own as it's damaging. I could do some research and find the safest recipe, or I could just bring you a do-it-yourself kit from Earth."

She was definitely amused over the excitement that spread across Serena's face. "Really? You'll bring it when you return?"

Sam shrugged. "Um, sure, I don't see why not." She wasn't prepared for the younger woman's hug, but squeezed back enthusiastically. "Really, it's nothing."

Serena shook her head. "No, you don't understand. Thank you!"

Sam released her and stepped back. "No problem." She saw the colonel gesturing towards her. "I've got to rejoin my friends now, but I'll see you tomorrow."

The colonel quirked an eyebrow as she joined him. "Making friends, Carter?"

She smiled. "Oh, I was just offering to bring her some hair dye from Earth - she wanted to go blonde, like me."

The colonel's eyes crept upwards. "You dye your hair?"

Her grin only grew larger. "You're telling me that after all this time you hadn't noticed?"

He took on his familiar look of confusion. "Well, I'd wondered, but I'd never actually thought..."

"No sir, of course not. But I do."

He cleared his throat, looking away. "Right. Now we just need to find Daniel."

* * *

Their debriefing that evening went by relatively smoothly. "And how are relations with the Obrans going?" Hammond asked. 

Daniel nodded. "They're very friendly and are definitely interested in forming an alliance. They don't have any use for the naquadah in their soil, so should be happy to trade it for our technology."

"And what sort of technology are they interested in?"

"Healthcare mainly - we have drugs they don't, and different techniques. Sam can tell you more about that."

Sam looked up. "They're not particularly interested in the gate system, which is good since they're not advanced enough to defend themselves against some of the aliens out there. I was talking to one of the doctors in particular, and she definitely wanted a supply of antibiotics. I believe she was also hoping to liaise with one of the doctors to discuss some of medical procedures, and maybe even spend a week or two here on base observing in the infirmary."

The general nodded. "I'm sure something could be arranged. Was there anything else they mentioned?"

"Well, I do believe that Carter promised one of the women we met some hair dye," the colonel drawled. "Apparently she wanted to be blonde as well."

All eyes turned to Sam and she glared at her CO. While she wasn't embarrassed that she dyed her hair, she didn't necessarily want to discuss it with the general either. "Blonde hair is very rare on their planet and she really liked mine. I explained that the colour's not natural, and she asked me if I could show her how to make the bleach. I thought it would be easier just to give her one of those home-colouring kits you get in drug-stores."

"I see." The general didn't look particularly concerned. "Well, you'll be returning there tomorrow to begin negotiations: you can give it to her then."

Sam nodded. "Of course."

The general looked at Daniel. "Report in tomorrow evening to let me know how things are proceeding. Dismissed."

The team filed out of the briefing room, and Daniel caught up with Sam. "Not to be difficult, but have you thought about the cultural implications here?"

"The cultural implications?"

"In cultures where typically everyone is dark-haired and dark-skinned, people with fair hair are often regarded with reverence, and even given positions of particular responsibility or respect. By helping this woman to dye her hair blonde, you may be totally changing her social status.

Sam looked at him in exasperation. "Daniel, it's only hair dye – it's not like I'm giving her some advanced piece of technology for her own private use."

"But in a way it is, since they don't apparently have peroxide on their own world and you're only giving it to one person."

"Then I'll provide kits for whoever needs them – it's not a big deal."

"Sam – "

"Sorry Daniel, I have to go shopping." Sam sped up, feeling distinctly irritated with her friend.

* * *

Serena was delighted. "And will my hair really go the colour on the box?" 

Sam couldn't keep back her smile. "It varies a little depending on your natural hair colour, but that's about what it will be. Do you need any help, or will you be able to manage?"

The woman shook her head. "I have reddened my hair before, I should be fine – my sister will help me."

"Well, let me know if you have any problems. I'm afraid I have to rush off though – I need to be there for the negotiations."

Serena nodded. "I hope you can give us the medical supplies we need."

"I'm sure we can arrange something," Sam assured her. "Come and show me your hair later!"

* * *

The day's negotiations didn't go as smoothly as Sam had hoped. While the Obrans were very keen on gaining antibiotics and other drugs, they also wanted some of Earth's defensive technology in exchange for the naquadah. Neither Daniel nor the Colonel were prepared to give way on that point, and the meeting ended under somewhat frosty circumstances. 

"The general is not going to be too happy," Sam predicted.

"Actually, I don't think there's anything to worry about," Daniel said. "They know our position on giving away defensive technology: I just think they're just trying to use it so that we'll make more concessions."

Sam looked at him doubtfully. "Really?"

"I think so."

Jack didn't seem impressed. "You mean we've got to sit around arguing just so that they can get an extra few syringes out of us?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Basically, yes."

"Huh." There was silence for a couple of minutes as they walked through the town, until Jack started smirking. "Hey Carter, there's your little pal over there."

She turned around and saw Serena rushing towards her. Except instead of seeing a dark honey-blonde as she'd expected, Serena's hair was almost white.

"Sam! Do you like my hair?"

Sam nodded and forced a smile. "It looks great." She paused, wondering how to ask her next question the most tactfully. "Didn't you want to use the dye after you bleached your hair?"

Serena shook her head. "I was planning to, but I liked it light like this."

Oh. "That's wonderful," Sam replied, trying to sound positive.

It wasn't that she had anything against white-blonde hair, it was just that the woman had olive skin and the combination was... striking, to say the least.

Jack interrupted the silence. "You look lovely. Really." Sam risked a glance at him and saw that his eyes were dancing, but hopefully the woman wouldn't notice.

"Er, yes, very striking," Daniel added. The three teammates looked at Teal'c, who merely stared back at them. They looked away.

"And," Sam realised that Serena hadn't finished, "My boyfriend proposed to me tonight! We're getting married!"

Sam smiled again. "That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you." For the second time in two days, she found herself being unexpectedly hugged.

"It's all thanks to you, Sam." Serena stepped back, beaming. "I have to go now, but I'll see you soon."

Sam nodded. "Of course. Er, bye."

SG-1 continued to walk in silence. Sam could feel her teammates gazing at her but she tried to ignore them. Finally she cracked.

"I can't believe he asked her to marry him just because she was suddenly blonde! That's so ridiculous!"

"Maybe he was planning to propose tonight anyway, and it was just coincidental that she changed her hair colour on the same day." Sam glared at Daniel and he looked away. "Or maybe not."

"Major Carter, I believe you should be happy to bring your friend such happiness."

"I know, it's just so frustrating!" Sam sighed. "It's just sad that she's so crazy about someone so shallow."

Jack couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Come on Carter, at least you got to play matchmaker!" She glared at him too, and he lifted his hands in mock defense. "Right. Anyway, Daniel should go to the gate and dial home – General Hammond will want to know what's going on."

"Sure," Daniel replied. "I'll make a complete report."

* * *

The next morning, it seemed as if Daniel had been right. The Obrans were much friendlier, and they conceded over the defensive technology almost immediately. Sam took painstaking notes throughout, and as the team's 'medical expert' she tried to answer any questions she could. 

They took a short break for lunch, but by mid-afternoon it seemed like everything had been agreed upon: the SGC would provide certain supplies and knowledge in exchange for being allowed to mine naquadah on a few specified plots of land. Sam couldn't wait to head back to the SGC and get procedures underway. Since building the prototype naquadah reactor she'd made several modifications to the original design which she believed could improve efficiency. The only problem was that she couldn't test the changes as she'd used all their supply of their mineral already. As soon as the mining began she'd be able to play around a bit more, and her fingers were itching to get start.

"Sam!" Daniel's voice was taut with impatience; Sam was horrified to realise that she must have stopped paying attention to the meeting.

"I'm sorry, Daniel: could you repeat that?"

He glared at her. "Actually, Councilor Cossuardo was just saying how much she appreciated the gift you gave to her daughter."

Sam stared blankly. "Her daughter?"

The councilor spoke up. "Serena – you gave her some kind of powder to lighten her hair. She looks very beautiful now."

Sam nodded politely. "I didn't realise that you were related. It was my pleasure."

The councilor paused. "Actually, I was hoping that we could make arrangements to trade for more of this 'peroxide' – many people have asked Serena if she could obtain some for them as well. Naturally we would be willing to give you access to more land in return."

Sam and Daniel exchanged glances. "Well, I'm sure we could come to some kind of agreement..."

Daniel faltered, and Sam cut in. "Of course. I'll send Teal'c back to Earth and he can fetch back some samples." Teal'c quirked an eyebrow. "We have many different products that come in a variety of colours: you can decide which will best suit your needs." She paused, realising that her teammates were staring at her. "That is, if that's okay with the colonel."

He raised his hands. "Of course, though you might want to head back with Teal'c yourself, Carter. I'm not sure he's the style guru that you seem to be."

"Yes sir." She looked around. "Permission to leave now, sir."

He nodded. "Granted."

As Sam left the room she could already see Daniel trying to decide just how much he could ask for in return for various hair products. It was a struggle to keep from smiling but she managed: she was sure he'd cope, no matter how trying he might find the situation.

* * *

A few weeks later Sam came back with a science team to oversee the beginning of productions. She was amused to see that every woman she met in town was sporting some shade or other of blonde hair, as were some of the men. 

Daniel, who was accompanying her, didn't seem quite so amused. "I can't believe they've all gone blonde."

"I must admit that I didn't think that everyone would colour their hair, but where's the harm in it really?"

"There isn't any, but don't you think it's a little weird?"

Sam did actually, but she didn't want to admit it. "I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon," she replied. "Just be glad I didn't tell them I wear coloured contacts when they started raving about the sea-blue depths of my eyes."

Daniel, who had been on the receiving end of more than a few comments like that himself, looked at her sharply. "You don't, do you?"

Sam was enjoying herself. "Do what?"

"Your eyes – surely you don't wear coloured lenses?"

Sam shrugged. "Sure, it can get a little tricky sometimes trying to keep them clean off world, and when I'm doing an all-nighter on the computer it is distracting when they fog up, but it's important for a girl to look her best." She flashed Daniel a huge grin. "Do you think the Obrans have those tooth-whitening drops – they might find those useful as well."

"Sam!"

She walked faster, trying to outpace him. "What, are you telling me that with dazzling white teeth like yours, you don't give them a little help?" She watched in delight as he avoided her gaze.

"It's all about dental hygiene," he replied, almost mumbling.

"Uh huh." She believed him.

"It is!"

"Okay, it is." Sam waited, sure that there would be some kind of a rejoinder.

"At least I don't wear make-up like Teal'c!"

Sam smirked. "There is that, though with a little lip gloss you'd look just perfect, and possibly some mascara –"

"Sam!"

"What – you think the colonel never wears foundation on special occasions?"

Sam took advantage of Daniel's sputtering to walk faster and leave him behind. Men were far too easy to wind up – it almost took the fun out of it. Almost...


End file.
